


Jack x Ianto: Nightmare

by MYwritingsXIII



Series: Torchwood: Ianto and Jack [3]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: A little angst, Comfort, Happy Ending, M/M, Past, after 1x04, bad dream, hurting, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23320189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MYwritingsXIII/pseuds/MYwritingsXIII
Summary: Ianto's having a nightmare which makes Jack realize some of the past traumas are not completely healed.
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Series: Torchwood: Ianto and Jack [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676587
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	Jack x Ianto: Nightmare

“Stay with me” Ianto murmured quietly. Jack looked over at him but saw that he still had his eyes closed, he must’ve been talking in his sleep. Jack always found it very cute when he did that. With a smile he closed his eyes again, there were still a few hours before they had to go to work. They were in Ianto’s flat, they usually slept there. His bed was bigger plus Jack really loved the shower, it had a couple of massage functions which were amazing. Also it felt really nice to have a place somewhere away from work, it felt more like a home. He hadn’t expressed this to Ianto, but he was sure the younger boy knew.

“No, don’t leave me, please” Ianto said more loudly, his arms moving. Jack could hear the fear in those words. He was quite sure his lover was having a nightmare.

He stretched out a hand and stroked Ianto’s face, trying to wake him up softly. It didn’t work, quite the opposite it felt like Ianto was sinking deeper into his dream. His breathing quickening.

“I love you, don’t go.” Jack never heard Ianto this scared nor desperate. Well, he had once before. The infamous night when they found out Ianto was keeping his girlfriend secretly in the Hub. Ianto was broken ever since, maybe Jack didn’t realize how much until now.

“Ianto, wake up please. I’m here. Wake up. It’s just a dream. Everything’s alright.” Jack hushed, trying to keep his voice steady. He wanted to take Ianto in his arms, but he wasn’t sure whether that was a good idea. Maybe he would start to panic at the movement, so instead he placed a hand on his right arm.

“Not her, not her please.” Ianto pleaded hopelessly. He started panting, as if he was running after something. Than suddenly he sat upright, eyes wide open. He looked around wildly and then caught sight of Jack next to him. Just like Ianto, he sat up straight.

“Sorry” Ianto whispered looking down at his hands. The dream had been so real, he’d seen her face so clearly, had almost felt her touch. But it hadn’t been real. He’d been in his bed all this time. It was a dream. He tried to calm down his breathing and stop his hands from shaking. It was over now.

“Are you okay?” Jack asked worried. He stretched out a hand and laid it on the other’s back. Ianto leaned into the touch. It felt familiar and safe. He could use a bit of comfort, but he didn’t ask Jack. He didn’t want to be over dramatic and needy. So instead, he pretended everything was fine. He tried to hide the pain in his chest and faked a smile.

“Everything all right, just a bad dream.” He looked back down at his hands, which were still shaky.

“It seemed quite intense, am I right?” Jack asked, he wanted Ianto to open up to him. To tell him about it. He knew he needed it. He knew that if he wouldn’t it would bottle up inside him and he would keep having this dream over and over, which would ultimately drive him insane.

“Yeah, but it’s fine now. You’re here, what more could I ask for.” A faint smile was covering Ianto’s face. It really did help he wasn’t alone, yet a part of him wished Jack wasn’t there. He was used to dealing with this on his own. He didn’t want to burden Jack with dreams about his dead ex-girlfriend.

Jack moved a little closer to Ianto, placing a hand on his head making him turn it and look him in the eyes. “Ianto, I can tell you’re not okay. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’ve been through quite a lot, talking about it might help you processing it all”

“Yeah, like you do all the time.” Ianto said back, immediately regretting it. All Jack was trying to do was making him feel better and now he’d messed it up by being rude. “I’m sorry.” He looked away again. He didn’t want to see the hurt expression that flashed over Jack’s face.

“It’s okay. You’re right, maybe I should start taking my own advice.” This made Ianto look at him again. He stretched out a hand and grabbed Jack’s hand. Maybe the touch would make it easier to start talking.

“Ianto, please talk to me.” Jack urged. He wanted to know what was going on inside the head of his dearest employee/bed partner.

“It’s been happening more and more lately.” Ianto said quietly. Jack didn’t understand: “What has?”

“The nightmares.” Ianto said, tightening his grip on Jack’s hand. “I had them when it just happened obviously but then for a while I stopped having them. Now they are back and I don’t know why, maybe because of us. It might be because I’m moving on from her, maybe a part of me feels guilty about it which reflects in my dreams.”

Jack didn’t know what to say. He understood why Ianto might feel like this was his fault.

“It’s weird though, the dreams are different. Before I used to dream of the night, you … the night she died.” Ianto’d almost said: ‘the night you killed her’. He didn’t blame Jack, nor the rest of the team, it had been the right thing the do. Now that he wasn’t blinded anymore he could see that. It took a while but he realized that that Lisa hadn’t been his girlfriend, she was a murderous strange and almost killed his team. He didn’t think he would’ve been able to forgive himself if someone had been seriously harmed.

“I used to dream of that horrible night when Torchwood 1 was destroyed. In my dreams now however, those two events are combined and there are other things as well. Things that didn’t happen.” Ianto sighed, he wish he was better at explaining the true horror of it.

“I’m sorry.” Jack replied, smiling sadly. He was not only sorry for having to kill Lisa, he was also sorry for being with him, even when it made Jack happier than he’d been in a long while. It was because of him he felt all this guilt. It was because of him that the dreams returned. He let go of Ianto’s hand. It felt wrong. He shouldn’t be here. He wanted to leave and run away. Ianto shouldn’t be with him.

“It’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Ianto said, a bit shocked at how Jack reacted. He wanted to take his hand again, but Jack was out of reach. He was now standing at the window staring into the night.

“I did.” He turned around and looked at Ianto with a serious expression. “This is all my fault.” He said sadly. Ianto didn’t understand a word he was saying.

“Look, I took advantage of you when you were in desperate need of comfort. I did it because I needed it, too.”

“Jack what are you-“ but Ianto was cut of mid-sentence by the older man continuing: “You said it yourself, that you think you’re having these dreams because of me and you’re not wrong. It is because of me.”

Again he turned around looking through the window. He felt drained. He didn’t want it to end, he really didn’t. Ianto had made his life brighter every day, but it wasn’t right. He didn’t want to keep doing what they were if it hurt Ianto. 

“That’s not what I meant. It’s not because of you.” Ianto said, getting up as well. He realized what Jack was saying and he had to stop him before it was too late.

“Jack look at me. Please.” He begged when the other man said nothing but kept staring out of the window. The moon was full and its light illuminated the street below, which was empty apart from a black SUV parked not far from the entrance of this building.

When he finally turned around he was wearing a rather cold expression, which made Ianto fear the worst. “I think we should end this.” Jack said emotionless. His insides, however, ached at the thought.

Ianto blinked, his mouth wide open. So that was it then? Jack was dumping him and it was all his fault. Because he’d said stupidly that he thought he was having the bad dreams because of his growing feelings for Jack.

“You can’t. No please, Jack, you can’t go. I need you.” Ianto said, tears welling up in his eyes. He couldn’t lose Jack, too. He just couldn’t. He didn’t care if the other man saw him cry. He was tired hiding his feelings.

“It’s for the best.” Jack said, trying his best not to show how much it hurt him. It was almost impossible to look Ianto in the eye, because he couldn’t bare seeing the hurt so clearly present there.

Jack tried to walk away but Ianto grabbed his hands and pulled him back to him. He then buried his face in Jack’s neck and said: “You’re not leaving me. I can’t lose you, too.” Jack could hear him sob. He wrapped his arms around the younger boy, holding him tightly.

He began to think that maybe he was getting it all wrong and that maybe Ianto truly needed him. A little spark of hope that maybe this didn’t have to end made Jack’s eyes water, too.

“Don’t go.” Ianto’s words were merely a whisper, yet Jack heard them loud and clear.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Jack whispered in Ianto’s ear, closing his eyes and hugging him firmly.

“You’re the reason why I find the courage to wake up every day. Without you all would just be black.” Ianto muttered, his head still buried. He wasn’t able to lift it up yet, not till he was a hundred percent sure Jack would stay with him. He was relieved to feel Jacks arms so securely holding him.

Jack smiled weakly and responded: “So would my world be without you.” Warmth spread through Ianto as the true meaning of those words slowly sank in.


End file.
